Of Nightmares
by SerenityFalconNormandy
Summary: Written based on the Dragon Age Reddit Weekly Writing Prompt: Your character just woke from a nightmares and is still terrified. What was the nightmare, and the aftermath. Marian Hawke is plagued by a nightmare, and Fenris wakes her to comfort her. Set after the events of Dragon Age II.


_"_ _I've searched far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth will part us…"_

Marian writhed next to Fenris, sweat dampening her brow as she whimpered in her sleep, "Mother…"

The restless movement woke the elf, and he rose up, ever alert with lyrium tattoos flaring, first checking to ensure they were secure in the little holding Varric and Sebastian had secured for them on the outskirts of Starkhaven. No Seekers were breaking down the doors, likewise no Templars or mages of any sort. Fenris peered down at Marian in the darkness, taking in the distress written plain on her face and in the little cries slipping out of her.

 _"_ _Don't fret darling… Now I'm free, I get to see Bethany again, and your father…"_

Fenris gently grasped Marian's shoulder, whispering to her, "Marian, wake up. It's just a dream."

 _"_ _My little girl has become so strong…"_

Tears slipped down her cheeks, and fingers twisted in his sleep shirt. He wrapped his arms around her, as much as he was able with her belly between them. The baby moved, a kick to his side to admonish him for letting its mother remain in such a state of distress for so long. Rocking Marian, he murmured against her dark hair, "Wake up, it's alright, I am here with you."

 _"_ _I love you. You've always made me so proud…"_

His lips smoothed over her her damp cheeks when he felt her tense, awareness coming over her as she slipped from the Fade to the waking world. A wail slipped out of Marian, and her shoulders shook as she stuttered out, "Mother… it was the day she... the day that monster…"

Fenris made soothing rumbling noises to comfort her as he tried to think of something to say. As when Leandra had passed, he was not good with comforting words for her, but he would be there for Marian until his last breath left him. He did not like to think of those particular three years. Not just because of Leandra, but because he had been unable to process how he felt, and had all but left Marian alone to deal with the loss and her grief by herself. Gamlen had been lost in his own grief, and Carver had been an unhelpful, accusing, and thankfully mostly absent git, and the abomination had been trying to worm his way into her heart with ever-increasing desperation.

"I still do not know what to say, Marian. I don't think I'll ever know the words that will ease your hurts, but I am here." The baby shifted between them, a solid reminder that they weren't in her bed back in Kirkwall, that Fenris wouldn't be leaving in the morning to spend three years looking at her with longing, but never reaching out to touch her.

"Thank you, Fenris. Just being here helps." She rolled to her other side in his arms, not without some grumbling and grousing, and intertwined her fingers with his, then rested their joined hands on their child. Marian's voice trembled as she spoke, "I think we need to send to Varric, have Aveline bring Carver and Merrill here. It's getting close to time."

Fenris frowned into the dark, "Why do you sound so scared, Marian?"

"What if I can't protect the baby?" A sob punctuated the last word, and he dropped a kiss onto her neck as she shook, "I couldn't save Father, or Bethany, or Mother. Maker knows how Gamlen's still alive. I have nightmares too often of what might have happened if I'd taken Carver with us to the Deep Roads. I keep seeing him with Blight sickness, and I have to… and then it mixes up with Mother, and they're both lurching along like broken puppets, and Carver just sneers about being in my shadow while Mother wails about Bethany and Father and asks me why I couldn't save them."

The shudders wracked through her and by association, him. Fenris muttered, "Knowing the abomination, if Carver had gotten himself bitten by a darkspawn, he probably would have been able to pull a whole Grey Warden camp out of his arse just to please you. They would have known what to do to save him."

She laughed and hiccuped out a sob at the same time, and relief flooded him. Marian tucked her head under his chin and cuddled herself closer back against his chest. "Carver should still be here. This will be his niece or nephew, and about the only family we have left. If it's a girl, I want him to choose her middle name."

"Oh? So you're deciding on names without me then?" He tried to sound stern, but in all honesty, he was relieved. He was still so unused to the idea of being a father that choosing names felt overwhelming. She snorted at him, "You asked me to, you arse."

"So I did. What have you decided?" Fenris gently extracted his hand from hers and brushed at her face, making sure all traces of her earlier outburst were gone from her soft cheeks.

"For a boy, Leto Malcolm. Our Leto will have everything you should have had." He didn't say anything, his throat suddenly thick with emotion. "If it's a girl, Maureva. The Templar that helped Father escape from the Circle was named Maurevar Carver. Obviously, it's where Carver got his name, and… I think it would make Carver happy that she would sort of be named after him, and Father too, if he can see us."

"And Carver will choose the middle name?" It came out rougher than normal, but Marian didn't seem to notice.

"Yes, between Bethany and Leandra. Mother told me once after Father died that Marian was Father's twin sister. Bethany was his mother. We're all named after people who were important to Father. I want our baby to be named for people who were important to me. I wish they were here to see their grandchild. Bethany would love to be an aunt, too." Her fingers trailed over his arms, making the lyrium veins glow in the dim light.

"I will protect our child and you. You will never be alone in this, Marian."

"Thank you, Fenris." She went silent then, and after a few minutes he felt her relax back into sleep. He stayed awake, alert for any signs of another nightmare. Fenris had vowed to protect her, and so he would.


End file.
